Journal 5 from Lali

In chapter 17 Ishmael is in rehabilitation and his nurse Esther buys him some rap cassettes. This makes Ishmael angry at first but when the music starts playing he starts opening up to Esther about his past. He tells her about a battle he was in and he was shot three times in the foot and how a doctor performed surgery on him to take the bullets out without any medication. Ishmael fainted during the surgery because of the pain and was given cocaine. Then his lieutenant told him that he has to kill the man that had shot him in his foot. As Ishmael is telling his story Esther begins to cry and tells him that it is not his fault, this angers Ishmael and throws the Walkman at her. Esther continues to use music with Ishmael he exchanges his memories for hours listening to Bob Marley. She also gives him a notebook and tells him to write lyrics again. As time goes on Ishmael begins to look forward to their sessions but he still get migraines whenever he recalls his childhood.

The theme that I picked for this chapter is trust because Ishmael has a trouble time in trusting anyone. The only person he trusted was his lieutenant and he lost that trust when he handed him over to UNICEF. But as he starts going to the rehabilitation center his nurse Esther tries to gain Ishmaels friendship and trust but he doesn't at first. But as Esther keeps meeting with him and plays music for him while Ishmael is re-telling his past Ishmaels first sign of trust comes at the end of the chapter when he believes Esther for the first time that all the violence that he committed is not his fault.

In todays world you got to have someone you can trust either bestfiends, parents, or siblings because trust can really define your relationship with that someone. For me I really trust my dad I can go to him and talk about anything with him. I have noticed that if you try to keep everything to yourself and not have enough trust to talk to someone it can really destroy you but once you start talking to someone about your problems or anything it can really help.